The other day, I was thinking about immigrants who come to America, and how some of them reach a point when either they or their children feel like they are real Americans. Not in the sense that they are legal residents or citizens, but that they feel like America is a place where they belong, and they relate to the culture. It got me thinking about what it would take for a foreigner like myself to feel like a Korean, or at least an American-Korean. Would I have to learn how to make my own kimchi (the staple of Korean food, served with almost every meal), buy my own tailor-made hanbok (the traditional Korean clothing), become conversational in the language, marry a Korean woman, and file for citizenship? I'm not saying I want to become a Korean, but it was a hypothetical question I pondered.
After some thinking, I realized that I would not want to become a Korean. I don't mean any disrespect towards the Korean culture or people, but I am an American, I have my own culture and I am happy with it. But as a recently licensed educator in the state of Oregon, my own country had little job opportunities to offer me. Korea is providing me with opportunities to make some money, pay off my debts, further my career as a teacher, and travel. Though I am interested in the Korean culture, it was not what drove me here.
All of this has recently put into perspective the experiences of immigrants in America. There has always been an attitude by many native-born Americans that immigrants should assimilate, become Americans, learn English, and embrace our culture. Although it is practical to understand the culture you are living in, and to learn some of the language that is spoken all around you, the idea of assimilation is easier said than done. We native-born Americans don't know what it takes to assimilate.
Like myself in Korea, people come to America not because they love the American culture, but because America offers better opportunities. They still love their homeland, they identify themselves with that culture, and they don't want to dismiss that. And can we blame them? People argue, "Why can't these people learn English?!" Well, I work 50 hours a week and don't have the will power or mental energy to learn Korean. I can only imagine what it would be like to be an immigrant in America working at least 50 hours a week, AND raising kids. Who's got the time to throw in English classes on top of all that?
All that being said, my family is the product of a very willing assimilation. My Italian ancestors sailed to San Francisco in the late 19th century. Despite the prominent Italian community in North Beach, my great-great grandparents made a very strong effort to remove all Italian culture from their lives. They no longer spoke Italian, saying they were now Americans. They learned English and raised three kids who looked 100% Italian, but who knew little to nothing about their heritage. In a way, it is admirable that my family made such a strong effort to adopt the American way of life, and I don't blame them for making that choice. But is it fair to expect all immigrants to make this kind of decision? Should we ask them to drop their culture and adopt something entirely foreign? The people who ask such a thing seem to think it's as easy as hitting the delete key on a computer, when in reality it can be like amputating part of oneself. There are many things about Korean culture that I just plain don't understand, and may never understand. I think it's fair to assume that many Koreans would say the same about aspects of American culture.
I am grateful that Korea allows my friends and I to act like westerners in their country. Although we have adopted certain Korean mannerisms to be polite, we still act quite different from most Koreans. We are different in the way we dress, the way we walk in public, wait in lines, use certain hand motions, the utensils we eat with, the way we date, and the way we can be quite loud! Sure we sometimes annoy Koreans with our differences, but they allow it nonetheless. I can tell you, when I return to the States, I will have no qualms with the differences in culture I see. If what they do does not harm or offend anyone, who are we to say "That's weird, don't do that!" Trust me, we're weird too.
